I worked in a hospital for many years. I worked with surgical patients and care givers for many years. I hate surgery.
On Wednesday I am having a hysterectomy that I have put off for a long time, hoping I would make it to menopause and those rotten fibroids would shrink. I could not wait that long. I have had too much pain, too much anemia, too many days feeling like crap each month...in fact there are months that I have one good week, and that is it. It is almost like I have forgotten how to feel good.
I am a week into the last period I will ever have and I have felt terrible for the better part of the past two weeks. The week before is never good. The week (or two) of bleeding is bad, and sometimes there is a week after that is painful. That makes four bad weeks...not every month, but often enough, that it is time to improve my life through surgery.
I have been talking to friends. I have been getting great advice.
I have been getting ideas on how to bring pleasure into this event.
One of my favorite ideas was to get a new box or crayons and/or colored pencils and a cool coloring book. I am a creative soul, but I have also had major surgery before and know that mental and physical energy can be low. I loved this idea because it was a way for me to enjoy something creative without requiring much mental or physical energy. She suggested a book of celtic designs. I am going to Michael's Arts and Crafts tomorrow to see what I can find. I already got a great deal on those twist up color pencils.
I bought a stuffed lion. He converts from a pillow with a lion head on it, to a huggable lion with the help of two strips of velcro. He is soft and Murphy colored and I thought it would be nice to have him with me in the hospital since I can't bring Murphy. (How uncivilized.)
I have some clean crisp cotton sheets I will ask Hubby to put on the bed for me before I come home. I have a list of juices, jellos, and foods I would like to have in the house. I am preparing the room and especially the bedside table to hold my magazines, laptop, art supplies, phone, drink. Oh and Chocolate....one of the glorious women in my life reminded me of the healing properties of chocolate....so we will have some delicious morsels available.
Tomorrow I will post the poem - chant - cheer that my friend wrote when she and her sister in law went through their hysterectomies. It made me laugh and smile and not feel so scared and alone.