Saturday, August 30, 2008

If grief or anger arises,Let there be grief or anger.This is the Buddha in all forms,
Sun Buddha, Moon Buddha, Happy Buddha, Sad Buddha.
It is the universe offering all thingsto awaken and open our heart.
~Jack Kornfield

I have been in grief for a long time now. So many losses this year and I thought I was "good" at dealing with it.

I am trying to allow myself to walk my path and to allow others to walk their path without my interference. To a co-dependent person that feels like I am abandoning them, and to my savior complex, it feels like I am abandoning them, but really I am saving myself.

If I take care of myself I will have the love and the energy to take care of others.

If I operate on an empty tank I do damage to myself and I am useless to others.

My family is celebrating Chuck's life right now. They are having the memorial service down at the barn and yesterday they spent the day getting things ready, filling up bucket after bucket with beautiful wild flowers and images of life on the lake that he loved.
He was such a kind man. He and his wife were part of the Christmas dinner I had in Lowville this year and I am so glad I got to have that time with them, like a grown up, but still the little girl that grew up loving them. It is hard to be sad on a day like today...full sun, blue sky and leaves dancing in the breeze. I will concentrate on being grateful.

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