Monday, December 28, 2009

ACK! Sick! Hate being sick! Hate not feeling like being up and running around and getting things done! Hate it hate it hate it!
When I am well, I love taking a luxurious is such a treat, but when I am sick I HATE having to go back to bed and miss everything the day has to offer...

I have to go back to work tomorrow and I am resentful of that too! I don't want to be sick at work. I don't want to have to use up a sick day and be out...
I feel like stomping my feet and whining and pitching a fit...
Oh..I guess I am doing that now.

So sorry you had to see this.
I'll come back when I am less cranky.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Boxing Day

Slept too long. Woke up with bad dreams.
Murphy was missing in my dream...but I found him. Also in the dream I ran into one of my oldest friends who no longer talks to me, and we were too angry to get through it; plus another friend who recently got sober told me he was high again.
Made me glad to wake up and get out of bed and wake up to the real world.

It is over 40 degrees outside and the world is dripping and melting.
Hubby is having yet another kidney stone attack and trying trying trying to put a positive spin on it. Last CT scan showed four stones in one kidney and 2 in the other. Why they are all deciding to move at one time (this is his fifth on in two weeks!) we don't understand. It is not fun.

Had a wonderful Christmas. So many lovely, thoughtful gifts!
A gorgeous pair of Barbara Bixby earrings! So perfect!

There is laundry to be done, and so many areas of the house that could stand straightening, or a good scrubbing. Tempted to go our for a drive while the weather, no ice is forming and there is a modicum of gray daylight. Don't really need anything, but a short outing could be fun.

Hubby made chicken parm last night...sauce from scratch! Perfection!
So much to be grateful for.

I am grateful for my cozy home and my loving husband.
I am grateful for my cozy fur children and their affection and good health.
I am grateful for my mother who is far away now, but always close in my heart.
I am grateful for my brothers and sister who are so smart and interesting.
I am grateful for my friends who are so generous with their love and good humor.
I am grateful for my job and health insurance.
A rare family portrait from this summer when everyone pitched in with my campaign for county clerk. I love them all so much! to start a load of laundry!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Wind and Gratitude

Old Man Winter has woken up and it seems he is in a bad mood!

Early this morning the birds and squirrels were attacking the feeders - even sharing space on the biggest one with the most delectable sunflower seeds.
Right now, all the critters are hopefully snug in their nests because the winds are blowing like it is the end of the world.
Let me tell Chicago a thing or two while I am thinking of it....The "Windy City" has got NOTHING on us. I am so grateful to the original builder of my funny little cottage. He understood the need for protection from the wind. Do to a clearing in the state park directly across from us, our house is directly in the path of the wind from the lake. Most of the time that is a bonus. I love the wind. I love the way it cools the skin and ruffles the leaves...I have done a few journal pages on the wind...didn't realize I had done so many until a friend pointed it out...ah self knowledge....

BUT...this wind....this once a year - break your windows, tear your doors off their hinges and peel the shingles off the roof wind....our little broad-side ranch just stands here and takes it and keeps us toasty warm...sometimes even too warm.
Well it depends on who you ask.
Since I have stagnant damp liver qi - I think it gets too hot in the bed room and Hubby thinks I am a drama queen. I tell him to put on a sweater when he complains I have the house too cool....ah..married bliss.

The house was built in several parts. The first part we believe was built in the 40's and may have started life as a hunting shack. My friend says she remembers being a little girl and coming here on Halloween and there was only that single room and the add on trailer that is now our kitchen. I have it on good authority that there is film footage of the day they pulled the trailer out of the house and framed in the space and turned it into our kitchen. My friend "The Mole" who has been under the oldest parts of the house says it is certainly "North Country" construction.
We were living in the house for at least six months before we discovered that the sink was not plumbed into the septic - or anywhere else for that matter. It terminated on the exterior of the wall by the sink, with a three inch piece of PVC pipe open to the world, and dumping out the dirty sink water on the ground. We moved in during winter so we didn't know this little tidbit until Spring when I had the windows open and was doing dishes and when I turned the water off at the sink I heard running water outdoors. I could not believe what I had discovered. I could not believe someone had sold us a house without telling us about this. I could not believe someone had lived here all their long lives and dumped their sink water out on the ground outside the kitchen.

Well, at least our roof didn't blow off. YET.
Someone down the road from us lost their roof today...A tin roof on a big three story farm house, just blew off one wing of the house...It was like something out of the Wizard of Oz.
I am also grateful for our generator that runs on propane and has been our silent companion and noisy savior more than once. Last Spring we lost power for three days and the generator just kept on running. Very satisfying to have that large investment be so rewarding.

Small persons should not travel beyond their doors without a rope tied securely around their middle, in case they should be picked up by the wind...
In this case, I think it is a really good idea.

OK..I got to go turn down the heat.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Lovely lazy day today. Got some of the Christmas stuff out, need to tackle the big boxes down in the basement. Had dinner at Cracker Barrel with Hubby, thought of my dear friends in Shreveport when I ordered Chicken Fried Chicken....remembered a trip to the casinos and the chicken fried steak that was the size of a frisbee, and the fun we had with twenty dollars in quarters and the slot machines. We did make or own party where ever we went. I remember watching the numbers and cherries roll past on the machine and the three of us chanting "seven, seven, seven. seven, seven, seven." probably at the top of our lungs...I remember smiling alot.

Hubby has a kidney stone brewing. It is long over due, which is a good thing. Maybe they are coming less frequently. All we can do is pray...there is no fix. AND the insurance companies won't even pay to have them broken up unless they get to a certain size....the doctors just press pain pills on him and tell him to pass them on his own. It is barbaric.

Had one art day this fall with my mother and old family friends. Isn't this just the most beautiful mess you have ever seen?

Tomorrow we will do more decorating.
I did get alittle time to paint and journal. Working in three books at the same time. Never done that before. One big new book and two small books that I started ages ago and set aside. So I paint a page, let it dry, pick up another book, do alittle drawing or coloring, set it aside, pick up the third book, glue something, paint something, or cut something up...Feels like I have been very productive, mostly it just feels fun to let loose and experiment. Reading some magazines and blogs to get some new ideas as I approach so many blank pages at once!

Moving off to bed now.
Nighty night!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Memory Lane

Who got my email address and is selling it????
The crazy thing is the email address I use the least...for resumes and business type emails. I must have made the mistake of using it for something that I bought on line and now I am getting all these "offers" for things I don't need and didn't ask for. And because they are not trying to sell me Canadian drugs or Viagra, they are not going into the SPAM box.

I was going to title this GOOD MORNING, until I made the mistake of opening my email...just to see. I thought I might try and write a bit of something every day...Do I want to put that kind of pressure on myself, or do I want to attempt that kind of discipline? My journaling has always been done as inspiration struck me. I have never been one to plot out a design and execute it...I am much more stream of consciousness in my writing and in my art.
My mother the fabric artist, is one who plans down to the last detail before even making her first cut into fabric - at least that is what it seems with her quilts. I don't remember how she planned her weavings...probably similarly. Wish I was more attentive when she was weaving. I don't have much memory of seeing her work on her looms even though they were always a part of our household. One of my favorite memories is when the loom came into the living room while we were living in Lexington Mass, and she enlisted all the kids to pull the warp yarns tight.
I remember holding the yarns in a bundle in each hand (I was under 10 years old but don't remember how young) and leaning back and pulling with all my strength to make it tight as she turned the bar at the other end of the loom, winding the yarn onto it in straight, tight rows. I remember complaining the whole time.
How many of you grew up with a giant wood loom in your house? How cool. I never thought about it before, but when we lived in Lexington, the loom was down stair in the basement most of the time and I recall playing on it like a jungle gym. Then when we were helping her with the warp it was in our living room, in front of the big picture window, across from the fire place. Doesn't that sound divine?
I understand completely why she moved it upstairs. I always take my art supplies into the living room. I look forward to winter when we bring the table from the screened porch inside and I use it in the living room so I can do some of the big swaths of gluing and painting while hanging out with Hubby watching TV. And it may have been winter when she moved the loom upstairs. It was a concrete basement that ran the length of our ranch house which sat in the side of a small hill, so I am sure it was not toasty warm down there, thought I do remember it being kind of homey. My father had an office with a phone down there, the heater was there, the laundry was there. It was a whole other world. We must have had an attic too, because I don't remember much in the way of boxes and junk.

Well, thank you for coming down memory lane with me.
That was fun.
I must go to work now and make money. It is Friday and I plan to get down to serious Christmas decorating this weekend, including some outdoor lights - take advantage of the fact that snow has melted and the temps are still in the 40s.
Till later - Namaste.

PS - next time I will tell you about the LOOM ring I purchased at a flea market...cute silly story.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Raw Veggies

Having trouble following my acupuncturist's instructions...of course that actually means I am being a perfectionist and over critical of always.
I ate cheese today and some raw veggies...
I am supposed to refrain from dairy and raw veggies for a week as part of my treatment for stagnant liver qi.
Don't you know, the moment you are forbidden to eat something - THAT is the one morsel that will trully satisfy you. We almost never have fresh veggies in the house (though more often lately...which I have enjoyed).
Tonight Hubby came home with some broccoli and cauliflower; then he mixed up a nice mild ranch dip, cut up some dried Italian sausage and some fancy Italian cheese and wanted to have a tasting plate for our dinner...
RAW veggies! for dinner! It is like the veggies knew they were off limits and like ninja assassins, they found a way into my home, and onto a plate with dip!
I LOVE raw veggies and dip...preferably hummus (oh, did I mention he also brought me home some hummus for garlic addicts...he knows me so well). To be fair, he does not know about my recent instructions to avoid these things, and he is trying to shop for healthy things that I like.

OK, tomorrow is another day. I shall do my best to refrain from dairy and raw veggies. I shall choose not to think about dairy and raw veggies the way a dog thinks about a hamburger. I shall avoid, people, places and things that might make me succumb to raw veggies - OMG! I just remembered that I had a half a sub yesterday with cheese and lettuce, tomatoes, onions and pickles on it! Shoot! My spirit is willing, my qi is stagnant and my ability to choose is weak...sign.

Penguin Shuffle

Good morning!
Our first snow fall was yesterday and it stuck to the trees and the ground and turned the world into a lacey work of art. (I took a few photos and will up load soon).
This morning, all but a few patches is gone. will often hear me say "don't live here if you don't like winter" but I was reminded of my fear of slipping and falling when the snow was on the ground yesterday. I have been walking around, sure footed for the past eight months and don't want to give that up for the penguin shuffle of winter....guess I better adjust my attitude...
And as noted in my post yesterday - I am bristling against the "slow down".
It is ironic that these three weeks before Christmas have also become accelerated by the plans, the shopping, the parties. I have done almost no gift shopping. I have some ideas I would like to execute for the holiday party at work...banner saying Thanks to our Village Volunteers and perhaps a Christmas Song Parody (think Jingle bells) (Dashing down Main Street...gotta get my Chrissy all the mail...laughing all the day...HA HA HA...) Chrissy Beanz is our local coffee shop...
"Board Meetings, Board Meetings....." feel free to jump in here and suggest some lyrics...I know some of you are quite good at this kind of thing...Need to be as simple as the original...hoping to get a room full of people to join me in singing this.
OK...enough dawdling...time to shuffle off to work...just kidding, the sky is clear and blue and the sun is coming up over the garage and it looks like it will be another gorgeous day on Lake Ontario. And to be truthful, it is ALWAYS a gorgeous day on Lake Ontario.

Slow Down

I was talking with my friend Lois about "what is next" and how I felt agitated today and couldn't seem to get anything done no matter how fast I was trying to catch up.
She suggested I get still, get grounded, and be willing to wait and see what the Universe has in store for me.
I realized that instead of scurrying around my office trying to get more done, I should have slowed down...I felt really agitated and kind of foggy, like a bad PMS day - I should have slowed, or come to a stop just long enough to get back on earth - I would have been more productive...instead of feeling frazzled and unproductive.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

First Snow - Finally

Finally! Snow! I forgot all about it till this morning when Mom took me outside and we romped in the snow. I love rolling in the snow best of all - Mommy does not.